A True Choice
Updated: Oct 30, 2020
So, I'm kind of exhausted as I write this post, it's been a bit rough of late, but I feel there are those that need to hear this, and that need to hear it now. So, I write this anyway, to the best of my ability, from my heart and I hope you can gently parse through however good or not good my writing may currently be in this state to get to the truth of the matter of what I would like to say.
I have wanted to write this post for years now but somehow could never find it in my heart to do it. I wasn't ready yet it would seem.
Despite current physical exhaustion, I am ready now. So, I will try as I always do to express what it is I want to say - my true choice.
What it comes down to is this - of all the things I've been through, of all the steps it took to get here - wherever here may currently be - I would change nothing.
Because if I did, I would not be the person I am today.
If any slightest moment was changed, I would not be the Goddess, warrior woman I am now that rose from her own grave. I would not know myself to be who I am without a doubt, would not have found that source of love, peace and joy deep within my own being.
No matter the cost of that. No matter how hard the path. No matter what I have had to face, I would not trade that for anything.
I would not trade myself for anything.
And so, where does that leave us. With a few things I want you to know.
This is my true self. When faced with the choice as I was on a deep level years ago - my true choice - I chose her. I chose myself. I chose Love. I chose to live - truly. Not from the ego. Not asleep. Not a robotic existence that didn't come from my heart. I chose me. I chose truth. I chose life and I chose to truly live.
And despite how hard it can be to fight for yourself. How hard it can be to experience the metamorphosis of becoming your true self and letting all the false truths and masks you've worn fall away - I would not change it for the world.
This is my true choice.
And so, I regret nothing.
I choose to be here, right here, right now because this journey has led me to be who I truly am.
And I wouldn't trade myself - not for the world.
When you can look back and say you would change nothing. And truly mean it. It means you do not regret your choices. You don't regret anything that has happened.
And when you can truly say that, from your heart as I am right now, I want you to know it means
I choose it.
I choose my path.
I choose to be here even if it is hard right now. Even if it isn't easy and full of unknowns.
Because when asked - I chose what was right rather than what was easy.
I chose to transform, heal and become all I am for myself and this world rather than stay asleep and live a life that came from somewhere other than my true self. I chose to take off the mask and live my truth - for me.
And I do not regret a single moment of it because even though it is hard - it is so damn worth it.
I chose love. And I'd rather live through hell and back fighting for it, than to have never known it at all. To have never known myself at all. That is a loss I couldn't have borne. So, believe me when I say I choose to be here. I regret nothing. And all I am fighting for, all I am transforming into, all that I am to become - it is on its way here.
The best is yet to come.
Because I am not doing this for nothing. I am doing this for truth, for love, for myself. And someone wise once told me, the path to true happiness - true, real, lasting happiness - starts out hard, like poison. But then after, turns into nectar that is everlasting and true.
I choose that. True, lasting happiness.
I choose truth, no more lies. And I will fight for it, and know not in a million years would I have had it any other way.
Because this is the path that led me to you.